God Bulldozed My Marriage (And Then Rebuilt It Better)
I remember thinking it was all a lie—every single bit of the marriage up to that point, tainted with secrets and indiscretions. Some I had sensed deep down, but I convinced myself I was just “doing too much.” Nope. I wasn’t paranoid, I wasn’t crazy—I was just lied to for more than a decade.
When the truth finally hit, I was wrecked. I honestly believed healing wasn’t even on the table this time. Respect? Gone. For him, and honestly, for myself too. I’d look in the mirror like, “Girl, how in the hell did you not see this?!” And then I’d look at him and—listen—I couldn’t even look at that man without wanting to vomit. That’s how deep the disgust went.
But here’s the thing: I now know I wasn’t stupid, and I wasn’t blind. God just knew I wasn’t ready to face what was hiding in plain sight. If I had seen it all sooner, I would’ve chosen my plan over His. And my plan? Safe. Comfortable. Made sense. But sometimes God loves us too much to let us settle for “safe.”
And let me be transparent—temptation came for me heavy. Because when you’re hurting, let’s be real, the enemy will send all kinds of “band-aids” wrapped up looking like blessings. I had opportunities that would’ve made me forget my pain real quick—tall, dark, handsome distractions, old numbers popping up like, “Hey stranger,” and those “we’re only texting” moments that could’ve easily turned into “what-did-I-just-do.”
But I had to check myself: “Sis, are you really about to throw away God’s perks for a couple 6 minute twerks?” (See what I did there? Perks, twerks—it rhymes and is corny, but trust me, it doesn’t add up). I wanted so bad to want to go there, but everything inside me (Holy Spirit) was screaming, “Girl, no! Run Forrest, RUUUUN!!” That was my wake-up call. I had to decide—was I going to sell out my future for a quick fix, or let God do the slow, hard, REAL work of healing me completely?
And here’s the miracle: in healing me, God also began healing my marriage—healing us individually (because he had some deep rooted things to heal from as well)—healing us as one—shaping our union into everything He predestined it to be. Because He created us for one another and for a purpose far greater than either of us could have ever imagined on our own.
Here’s what I learned: healing doesn’t come without hurt. Restoration doesn’t happen without brokenness. And sometimes God has to bulldoze everything. He tears it down to the studs—not to leave you stranded in the rubble, but to lay a foundation strong enough for the rebuild.
It’s messy. It’s painful. It’s unfair. But it’s also where the beauty of your testimony is born. And looking back now, I can laugh a little at the younger me, squinting at red flags like they were carnival lights, convincing myself everything was fine. But God knew, He was making space for something stronger, better, and unshakable.—He knew when to pull the curtain back, and He knew how to carry me through the wreckage.
And maybe your struggle wasn’t infidelity. Maybe it was a different type of betrayal, loss, disappointment, or the wreckage of dreams you worked so hard to build. Whatever your “demolition” moment was, here’s the truth: God doesn’t bulldoze what He isn’t prepared to rebuild.
So hold on. Don’t trade His promises for a tryst, a fix, or a shortcut. Because what He’s building in you, through you, and for you is worth every tear, every question, and every moment it feels like it’s falling apart.
You will rise from the rubble. And when you do, you’ll stand stronger than you ever imagined.
✨ Until next time… don’t drop your crown, Sis. Pick it up, straighten it, and walk in the promises God has for you.