A passing thought, a smell, a taste, a sound, a feeling...triggered.
A song, a commercial, that Thai spot across town with the fire lunch specials...triggered.
Your favorite top that you happened to be wearing that dreadful night...triggered.
The sound of the glass shattering when the waitress dropped the plate...triggered.
Phone calls sent to voicemail and unanswered text...triggered.
TRIGGERED! TRIGGERED! TRIGGERED!
In a split second you go from feeling free and whole, to bound up and broken all over again. Frozen in the pain and fear of a place you had come so far from. If I had a dollar for every time one of my triggers, caused by past traumas, tripped me up and sent me spiraling; I'm pretty sure I'd be a billionaire. I'm talking hysterical breakdowns, lost sleep, total mood changes, and unable to eat; your world appearing to shift backwards, because of a memory.
The body keeps score, an account of what it has experienced. So the fact that you find this happening to you is completely normal; and it definitely doesn't mean that you aren't or won't be healed from past hurts. However, it is a clear indication that you need to take some quality time to sit down with yourself, and identify exactly what those triggers are. Gain a clear understanding of the amount of power they have over you. Be honest with yourself, because if you aren't they will continue to trip you up; each and every time the opportunity presents itself.
Now that you've identified them, break the hold they have on you. Deem them powerless, because ultimately they are. Understand that although it happened it does not define who you are and it does not dictate what you do. Your triggers only hold the power that you give them. That power is yours and your trauma does not have the right to it. Trauma from abuse, neglect, rejection, bad experiences in church/ministry, being violated, a terrible accident, heartbreak, the divorce, etc...none of it has any right to YOUR power. Make the decision to reclaim what is yours.
The process to this is no walk through a rose garden, by any means; but rather one through a gauntlet of all types of unpleasant memories and emotions trying to take you out. Not to worry because, like me, you were built for this! The fact that you are here reading this on the other side of situations that were designed to kill you, is evidence of that. Commit to the process, trust the process, work the process; because the you that awaits at the other end of it is worth it.